How Are You Relating?
This is the second in a 3-part series providing an overview of each of the questions contained in “3 Vital Questions ™: Applying the Power of TED* to Work and Life.” Last week, we covered the 1st...
View ArticleThe Rescuer’s Delusion
In the 1960’s Dr. Stephen Karpman first described the three reactive and problem-focused roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer that he named the Drama Triangle. One role—-that of Rescuer—-is...
View ArticleThe Victim’s Resignation
Two weeks ago, we described the Rescuer’s Delusions, and last week we wrote about the Persecutor’s Obsessions. This week we are focusing on the third and final role in the Dreaded Drama Triangle...
View ArticleThe Creator’s Choice
In the last three “TED* Works!” issues, we explored each of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer. This week we begin a similar series covering the TED* (*The...
View ArticleStuck in the Pleasing Habit
The need to please others is one of the most important social skills for all human beings. Appropriately pleasing one another keeps us connected and helps us to survive and thrive together. The...
View ArticleSelf-Awareness Without Compassion is Warfare
A colleague once said to us: “Oh, the curse of self-awareness. Sometimes it’s easier to not know why I do things and just go blindly through life.” We often feel the same way. Sometimes blindness is...
View ArticleAsk a Better Question
How often do you find yourself talking with family or friends and someone raises a question like: “I wonder where that saying originated?” or “What’s the average temperature of Seattle in February?”...
View ArticleWaiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Have you ever wondered about the origins of the saying “waiting for the other shoe to drop?” It began in the early 1900’s with poorly constructed buildings in the U.S. that had very thin floors and...
View ArticleThe Gratitude Loop
Next week is the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States. Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday because it celebrates an attitude of gratitude—one of the most important practices to cultivate your...
View ArticleHow a Creator Speaks
Your brain believes what you tell it. Your thoughts and the words you use to communicate result in a physical substance flowing through your nervous system. For example, if you repeatedly tell...
View ArticleTrapped in Repetitive Tasks
There is a leadership story that illustrates being trapped in repetitive tasks. The story goes like this: There was a hermit who would cut enough wood each summer to heat his forest cabin through the...
View ArticleProblems Stick Together Like Velcro
David remembers a time when he was working with an executive who had just been promoted to a leadership position. Wanting to make a positive impact, the leader convened several meetings with his new...
View ArticleYou Always Have a Choice
We’re curious—-what do you believe about making choices? Do you believe your life is more or less an accident and you are at the mercy of outside forces? Or do you truly believe that you always have...
View ArticleLet Go or Be Dragged
We have a friend who complained about his stock market losses in the last few weeks. He focused on his dream of a larger retirement check, rather than the comfortable retirement he now has. We have...
View ArticleVictimized by Hope
The emotion of hope is one of the most important and positive emotions available to human beings. When facing difficult times, such as an illness, a divorce or loss of a job, hope keeps us moving...
View ArticleReacting Begets Reacting
Most days we watch the evening news together. This is partly our way of transitioning from work to being together as a married couple. It is also a way for us to stay abreast of what is happening in...
View ArticleShifting from Victim to Creator
When David first learned about the Karpman Drama Triangle and its roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer many years ago, he knew he had lived much of his life from a Victim point of view. One day in...
View ArticleWhat Triggers You?
Sometimes the smallest stimulus can irritate us and send us into a dizzying cycle of reactive, drama-filled behavior. We call a stimulus that impacts behavior a “trigger.” Triggers can be both...
View Article3 Differences Between Goals and Intentions
Goal setting is a valuable practice that helps you get things done. Goals are essential for completing tasks, whether it is developing a new business skill or cleaning your closest. While setting...
View ArticleFlipping Complaints to Commitments
We have noticed that some days both of us can complain a lot. The complaints might be about everyday things, such as not sleeping well, we’re out of our favorite coffee, or bigger complaints about the...
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